Like many of you who use social media, periodically I get pornographic solicitations. For instance, a few Sunday’s ago, I was at church getting ready for worship, and I sent a tweet encouraging people to come to church on that particular day. While I was logged into my Twitter account, I discovered that I had a new follower. It was a female whose name I did not recognize, but her profile appeared legit.
I clicked the link in her tweet (that supposedly was to some type of leadership site). Immediately I was directed to a pornographic site with very explicit images and verbiage. I was in shock! I quickly closed the window on my computer and then clicked “Report Spam”, as well as the the “Block” button. Immediately, I stepped out of my office and shared what had just happened with a couple of male friends who were also in the building.
Fast forward a few days later…I discovered that I had another new female follower, only this time both her picture and her profile info were blatantly sexual. Again, I quickly clicked “Report Spam”, and then “Block”. This time I was even more frustrated because it was twice in one week that I had been the target of smut. I hadn’t even clicked on a link this time, for goodness sake…this was her public profile!
The more I’ve reflected on these two occurrences, the angrier it’s made me. First of all, these things are a direct attempt, from Satan himself, to attack my integrity. Secondly, there are now images etched into my brain that I did not intend to archive there. Even though I’m not dwelling on what I saw, it’s still footage that is stored in my mind, because our brains are much like a computer hard-drive. Once you have stored data in your memory, it’s almost impossible to erase.
Psalm 101:2-4 says, “I will be careful to live a blameless life…I will lead a life of integrity in my own home. I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar…I will reject perverse ideas and stay away from every evil.” Even though the Psalmist had no idea what a personal computer or a hard-drive was, I fully believe that he understood the “memory storage concept” of the brain, as well as the inherent dangers associated with seeing evil images. Verse 3 is a great verse to tape to the top of your computer screen or television: “I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar“.
I have been rudely reminded that in this day and age, you do not have to seek out porn; it seeks you out. That’s why it’s so important to have checks and balances in all of your electronic endeavors. All it takes is one wrong click, and you can quickly find yourself heading down a road that you never intended to be on; a road that will lead you to a destination that can destroy you, your future, and your family’s future, too.
Here are a few things to remember:
1. Practice transparency – allow others access to your email, internet history, passwords, cell phone records, etc… I have a couple of people, whom I trust greatly, that have access to my entire electronic world. Having this type of openness causes me to think twice about everything I view and everything I do.
2. React quickly – if you “accidentally” stumble upon something that you know you have no business viewing, shut it down immediately…don’t hesitate…don’t investigate…don’t negotiate. Once you shut it down, immediately tell someone what’s happened so that another person is “in the loop”.
3. Practice accountability – have a close friend, of the same sex, who will ask you hard questions that warrant very specific answers-questions about vulnerable areas of your life . Use internet software that will send a report, to someone you trust, regarding any “questionable” websites that you may or may not have visited.
4. Use social media wisely – I got rid of my Facebook page 2 years ago, for several reasons…one of which was because “old female friends” kept finding me and sending me messages. I came to the conclusion that I had no reason to speak to these “old female friends”; and furthermore, I trust that God is big enough to put someone in their path who can lead them to Jesus…someone other than me, because quite frankly, I’m busy trying to point wife and children to Jesus! If you’re married, I would suggest a “family page” rather than individual pages, that way both you and your spouse are “on the same page” (pun intended). Another warning about social media: use caution when viewing other people’s profile pictures. Let’s be honest here-staring at pictures of people in their swimsuits is just as lustful as staring at a pornographic magazine (the fact that they are on Facebook and Twitter, does not make it okay to lust after them).
5. No one is immune– It doesn’t matter who you are, how strong you are spiritually, how great of a relationship you have with your spouse, how long you’ve been married, or whether you’re a male or female (and by the way, according to the families that I interact with, both female extramarital affairs, and female pornogrophy use, are on the rise and at an all-time high). No one is immune to moral failure…NO ONE! It knows no prejudice.
Regardless of what you may think or what you’ve been taught, pornography destroys lives. Just take a look around and see how many individuals and families are wrecked because of it. The number is astounding!
Maybe you’re struggling with this issue. If that’s the case, remember that God’s grace is big enough to handle all of your habits, hurts, and hang-ups…and not just yours, but the entire world’s. As one of my heroes, Bono, recently said, “Grace defies reason and logic“. It’s scandalous! But first, you must take a step. Find a someone that you can trust (preferably someone who is walking with God) and confide in them your struggles. It’s a risk, yes. But not nearly as much of a risk as allowing your life to be consumed and destroyed by evil. You must trust them to help you get help…you can’t do it alone. God designed us to bear one another’s burdens and invest in each other’s lives.
Think about it.
This is a great wake-up call and very thought-provoking. It's so important to have accountability in all areas of our lives. Coupled with this, I read a blog by a female writer recently that talked about how easy it is for women to participate in "Emotional Pornography". Thanks for keeping it real. Love the Bono quote!